Caring Too Much About What Others Think of You

July 13, 2018

I was debating between two different possible titles for this post - "Self-Confidence," or "Caring Too Much About What Others Think of You." The latter, as you can plainly see, arose as the champion. I chose to veer away from the "self-confidence" title due to the fact that it is such a broad and somewhat ambiguous term. Self-confidence, I believe, is comprised of so many smaller ideas and topics that trying to unravel all of its strings in a semi-short blog post seems a little unfitting. I simply chose one of the many various elements that makes up one's self-confidence that I've been dealing with lately - caring about what other people think of you. 

I have always struggled with caring too much about what other people think of me. I truly opened my eyes to this situation the other day when I brought my dog to the vet. I was wearing a dress, had my hair up in a high ponytail, and wore no makeup, which I rarely wear anyway so this aspect of my appearance wasn't something I felt too insecure about. After leaving the vet, stepping into the car with my mom, pulling down the visor and looking into the mirror, I said "No wonder everyone was staring at me, my hair is a mess!"  Looking back, I realize how incredibly ridiculous this statement was. I highly doubt that anyone sitting in the waiting room at the vet was thinking to themselves "gosh, that girl's hair is really a mess." Not only does this statement showcase how insecure I felt, but it also clearly illustrates my excessive and unnecessary worrying when it comes to what others are thinking of me.

I have always been a naturally shy person towards people I either don't know very well or am not that close to. Those who know me well though know that around people I am comfortable with, I am the complete opposite of shy and can get pretty crazy. Part of the reason I am more introverted towards people whom I'm not that close with, besides it just being part of who I am (as I said earlier I'm a naturally shy person), is due to the fact that I care way too much about what other people think about me. After speaking to someone whom I may not feel completely comfortable around, I constantly find myself worrying was what I said stupid? will they think I meant this instead of that? should I not have said that? I have always admired those people who have the confidence to say whatever they want whenever they want to without the fear or care of being judged by others. 

Caring too much about what other people have thought of me has done so much more harm to me than it has good. Besides the obvious damage that this sort of mentality can have on your self-esteem, I can think of so many little examples of things that I could have accomplished or tried had I not cared so much about other peoples' opinions of me. While I know that I probably will never be an extremely outgoing and extraverted person towards people whom I don't know very well, I know that I am capable of letting go of my fear of judgement and being the type person my close friends know me as - someone who is loud, talkative, and loves to laugh. I am tired of caring too much about what other people think of me and letting their opinions change the way I view myself. 

Here are 10 small, actionable ways to work towards becoming a more confident person that I am going to implement more into my life.

1. Compliment strangers.
2. Spend less time on social media.
3. More acts of self care.
4. Journal.
5. Spend more time with friends.
6. Work out more.
7. Create gratitude lists.
8. Listen to upbeat songs.
9. Sit with good posture.
10. Smile more.

1 comment

  1. I feel so related to this, Alexa! I'm also shy and care a lot about what people think. I don't like going out without make-up because it makes me really self-conscious. However, a friend told me something that's helping out a lot. Whenever you see someone staring at you, think positively. Think that maybe they like your outfit and that's why they are looking at you instead of because you didn't fix your hair or something. I hope it helps!